New York Times Bestseller - Everything Trump Touches Dies – Available NOW

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"...the bad-ass hombre who shows up in the middle of the second act, ready to teach us how to fight back"
-Laura Bogart

⬅︎RICK WILSON

 

" Can you imagine Trump sitting on AF1 on the way to the G20? The seething, steaming anger building into a near-apoplexy? It's going to be glorious."


~


"Don't cry for me, says Butina

The truth is, I never left you

All through my wild days, my spy existence

The deal I've cut now

Helps the Resistance"


~


"Is Diet Pepsi ok?"

Me: "Instead of a Pepsi product, could you strain some yak vomit through cheesecloth, then mix in some battery acid with burned hobo dander, and run it through the engine block of a 1964 Soviet K-700 tractor?”


~


“ President Flop Sweat sure is nervous this morning"


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"Dear @realdonaldtrump.

Reading your tweets this morning tells me you're now pretty much every mentally ill homeless dude outside the bus station, screaming at the cops to publish your manifesto.

Dear Trump Republicans: enjoy defending THAT."


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"Everything Trump Touches Goes To Prison for 36 Months."


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“If there’s a sharper critique of America’s failed education system than the breathless, mindless Trump voter, I can’t name it.” 


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“Donald Trump is like a monster from the laboratory of a jackass mad scientist, built to represent the perfect antithesis of Washington’s example.”


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“ According to a DM, I'm part of the Luciferian Elite. Proceed accordingly."


~


"We'll never know if the President of the United States is doing couple rails or a booty bump of Adderall every morning. 


We'll never, ever know. 


And for that, we should be thankful.


#themoreyoudontknow"


~


“Leadership takes two things Donald Trump notoriously and evidently lacks: character and an ability to engage in political acts that go beyond oneself.” 


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“Fecal Midas”


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“No, not every Trump supporter is a racist, xenophobic, alt-right man-child. However, every racist, xenophobic alt-right man-child is a Trump supporter.”


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"I love how #Individual1 is sitting alone like a sulky child at the #G20Summit2018"


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“Donald Trump, the avatar of our worst instincts and darkest desires as a nation, sits in the Oval Office. I did what I could to stop it. We failed in 2016, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit by as the Nickelback of presidents wrecks my country.”


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"I love a good negative ad. I'm never going to shy from them, i don't take any of the, 'Oh, you're so negative' stuff to heart. Yeah, you bet. It's still a tool that works."


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"Donald Trump could go out tomorrow and eat a live baby on television and they would think it's the greatest thing in the America."


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“Facts, as Reagan famously said, are stubborn things. Truth and honesty are vital pillars of presidential leadership; they create an ineffable reservoir of goodwill for the moments when the man in the Oval Office can’t tell Americans all the details of a military or law enforcement operation. They are a buttress against attacks on his programs, his intentions, and his statements. Leadership demands trust. Trust that the president will keep his word, do as he promises, and deliver on commitments. Donald Trump, the Münchhausen of presidents, is a notorious serial liar and fabulist. He is a man who has boasted about his own dishonesty in life, marriage, and 

business.” 


~


“Globalist” is Bannonese for “Jew,” y’all. Just letting you know, in case you’ve been living under a rock.” 


~


"You're not getting a Wall, MAGAs.

You're not even getting a fence.

You'll be lucky if you get a Freedom Ditch"


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"Giant, epic douche canoe"


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"Some things are a hard, long path with a lot of false starts, twists, turns, and resistance.


And then it just all starts rolling and you wonder how you ever thought it couldn't happen."


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